does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
