yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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