I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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