I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
