Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
