omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
