She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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