I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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