She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think i got beer on your cat.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize