I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
