I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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