i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
