He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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