never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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