I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
you're hired as official boob wrangler
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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