That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
