I am in a vortex of obligation.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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