still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize