you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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