You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
