Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
