she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
