Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
