loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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