Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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