there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
