Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
