There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
