I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
