I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
