Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
