Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
