I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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