i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
