Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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