She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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