my mouth tastes like poor choices
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
