Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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