C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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