So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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