This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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