my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
