He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize