Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
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