im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
