She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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