Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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