the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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