what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
