I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
