last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
