I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
