So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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