So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize