turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
