hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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